| Song Title | Lyrics | Heard In Episodes |
|---|---|---|
| A Few Of My Favorite Things | Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens Bluebells and sleighbells and something with mittens la la la la la la something with string.... | 1.1 TOW Monica Gets A New Roommate |
| Love | Love is sweet as summer showers, Love is a wondrous work of art, But your love oh your love, your love... Is like a giant pigeon...crapping on my heart. La-la-la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to that guy she says) Thank you. La-la-la-la...ohhh! | 1.1 TOW Monica Gets A New Roommate |
| Blackout | New York City has no power And the milk is getting sour But to me that is not scary Cause I stay away from dairy La-la-la-la-la-la... | 1.7 TOW The Blackout |
| Cremated Mother | My mother's ashes, even her eyelashes Are resting in a little yellow jar And sometimes when it's breezy Or when I'm feeling sneezy And now I... | 1.10 TOW The Monkey |
| Snowman | I made a man with eyes of coal and a smile so bewitchin' How was I supposed to know that my mom was dead in the kitchen La-la-la-la-la-la-la... | 1.10 TOW The Monkey |
| My Coma Guy | You don't have to be awake to be my man As long as you have brain waves I'll be there to hold your hand. Though we just met the other day There's something I have go to say... | 1.11 TOW Mrs. Bing |
| Babies | They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why And you cry and you cry and you cry And you cry and you cry... | 1.23 TOW The Birth |
| They Found Their Bodies | And they found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next day, la la la, la la la, la la la... | 1.23 TOW The Birth |
| Double-Jointed Boy | He was a double, double, double-jointed boy | 2.6 TOW The Baby On The Bus |
| When I Play | When I play, I play for me I don't need your charity La lalala lalalalalalala lalala lalala lalalalalalala.... | 2.6 TOW The Baby On The Bus |
| In the Shower | I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song Stop me if you've heard it. My skin is soapy, and my hair is wet, and Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget. Lather, rinse, repeat and lather, rinse, repeat and lather, rinse, repeat as needed. | 2.6 TOW The Baby On The Bus |
| Smelly Cat (Original Version) | *Chorus* Smelly cat, smelly cat What are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat It's not your fault They won't take you to the vet *Repeat Chorus* | Many Episodes |
| Stephanie | Stephanie knows all the chords! | 2.6 TOW The Baby On The Bus |
| Terry's a Jerk | Terry's a jerk! And he won't let me work! And I hate Central Perk! (time passes by) And you're all invited to bite me! | 2.6 TOW With The Baby On The Bus |
| Two of Them Kissed Last Night | There was a girl we'll call her Betty And a guy let's call him Neil Now I can't stress this point too strongly This story isn't real. (time passes by) Now our Neil must decide | 2.8 TOW The List |
| Barnyard Animals | Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo" Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo" Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up And that's how we get hamburgers. Noooowwwww chickens! | 2.12 TO After The Superbowl |
| Don't | There'll be times when you get older And you'll want to sleep with people Just to make them like you But DON'T Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do That's another thing that you don't wanna do | 2.12 TO After The Superbowl |
| Bi-sexuals | Sometimes men love women And sometimes men love men Then there are bi-sexuals Though some just say they're kidding themselves La-la-la-la-la-la... | 2.12 TO After The Superbowl |
| Grandma | Now grandma's a person who everyone likes She brought you a train and a bright shiny bike But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, But the truth is she died and someday you will too La-la-la-la-la... | 2.12 TOW After The Superbowl |
| Smelly Cat (With All The Gang) | *Chorus* Smelly cat, smelly cat What are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat It's not your fault They won't take you to the vet *Repeat Chorus* | 2.17 TOW Eddie Moves In |
| Crusty Old Man | ...And the crusty old man said "I'll do what I can" And the rest of the rats played maracas | 2.18 TOW Dr. Remore Dies |
| Endless Love (Duet with Chandler) | (Chandler) I’ll hold you close in my aaarms. I can’t resist your charm. And loooove.... (Phoebe joins in) Looooove... I’ll be a foool for youuuu. I’m sure, you know I don’t mind. (Chandler) No you know I don’t mind. (Chandler & Phoebe) And yes! You mean the world the world to meeee. Oooh... (Chandler) I know. (Phoebe) I know. (Chandler) I’ve found. (Phoebe) I've found... (Chandler & Phoebe) in youuuu, my endless looov... My endless looove.... looove.... love.... (Chandler) looove (Phoebe) love (Chandler) looove.... | 3.8 TOW The Giant Poking Device |
| Jingle B*tch | Jingle b*tch screwed me over Go to hell jingle whore Go to hell, go to hell, go to h-h-hell | 3.14 TOW Phoebe’s Ex-Partner |
| Sticky Shoes | My favorite shoes so good to me I wear them everyday Down at the heel, holes in the toe Don't care what people say My feet's best friend, pals to the end With them I'm one hot chicky Though late one night Not much light I stepped in something icky *Chorus* Sticky shoes, sticky shoes | 3.14 TOW Phoebe’s Ex-Partner |
| Crazy Underwear | Crazy underwear creeping up my butt Crazy underwear always in a rut Crazy underwear... | 3.23 TOW Ross' Thing |
| The 66 Colors of my Bedroom | ...fuschia and mauve Those are the 66 colors of my bedroom | 4.1 TOW The Jellyfish |
| Dumb Drunken B*tch | ...dumb drunken b*tch!! | 4.2 TOW The Cat |
| Parading Goats | Parading goats are parading, Parading down the street. Parading goats are parading, Leaving little treats. | 4.5 TOW Joey's New Girlfriend |
| Paper Machй | (three snaps) I, I'm still waiting for my paper maché man | 4.5 TOW Joey's New Girlfriend |
| My Sticky Shoe | My sticky shoe My sticky, sticky shoe Why you stick on me, baaay-bay? | 4.5 TOW With Joey's New Girlfriend |
| Tony Tarzan | Little Tony Tarzan Swinging on an nose hair Swinging with the greatest of ease... | 4.7 TOW Chandler Crosses The Line |
| Holiday Song | Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap Said all you need is to write them a song Now you haven't heard it yet so don't try to sing along No don't sing along Monica, Monica, have a happy Hanukkah Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowwwwwy And Rachel and Chandler, (mumbles something) handler! | 4.10 TOW The Girl From Poughkeepsie |
| Little Fetus | Are you in there little fetus? In nine months will you come greet us? I will buy you some Adidas | 4.12 TOW The Embryos |
| Little Black Curly Hair | I found you in my bed... How'd you wind up there? You are a mystery Little black curly hair Little black curly hair Little black, little black, Little black, little black, Little black curly hair | 6.3 TOW Ross' Denial |
| Two Heart Attacks | It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see one of them won't do it but the second will set you free Tell all your hate and anger it's time to say good bye and that is just what I will do as soon as those bastards I work for die Lalalalalalalalalala... | 6.116 TOW Could've Been Pt. 2 |
| First Time I Met Chandler | First time I met Chandler I thought he was gay but here I am singing on his wedding daaaay | 7.1 TOW Monica's Thunder |
| Whenever I Get Married | Whenever I get married Guess who I won't ask to sing! Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!!! | 7.1 TOW Monica's Thunder |
| Who's Gonna Perform the Ceremony | Who's gonna perform the ceremony? Who's gonna perform the ceremony? | 7.1 TOW Monica's Thunder |
| Thought Phoebe Would Leave | We thought Phoebe would leave But she just stayed and stayed That's right, here all night And Chandler will never get L... | 7.1 TOW Monica's Thunder |
| Argentina Song | And there’s a country called Argentina It’s a place I’ve never seen But I'm told for fifty pesos You can buy a human spleeeeen Human spleen! Olé! | 9.19 TOW Rachel's Dream |
| The Woman Smelled Like Garbage | It wasn’t just that she was fat, The woman smelled like garbage! Everyone! It wasn’t just that she was fat, The woman smelled like gaaaarbage! Classy huh? | 9.19 TOW Rachel's Dream |
| The Food Here At Javu | The food here at Javu...will kill you! The food here at Javu...will kill you! | 9.19 TOW Rachel's Dream |
Phoebe Buffay Songs
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