Phoebe's Songs Buffay

Phoebe Buffay Biography

2007-07-30T10:47:00.000-07:00

BUFFAY, Phoebe
(Friends)
5 Morton Street
Apartment #14
new York City, NY
(Greenwich Village)

Phoebe "Pheebs" is a former teenage runaway turned New Age space cadet and left-handed masseuse for Healing Hand, Inc. In her spare time, Phoebe visits her close friends Monica Gellar, her brother Ross, Chandler Bing and Joey Tribianni.

Lisa Kudrow as Phoebe Buffay - Photo courtesy of NBC

Born February 16th, Phoebe used to live with Monica Geller at Apartment #20 but moved 20 blocks to her grandmother's old apartment on Morton Street because Monica was a neat freak. Rachel Green replaced Phoebe as Monica’s roommate and later moved in with Phoebe for a time after Monica’s boyfriend Chandler Bing displaced her. Once after Phoebe got fired for getting to affectionate with a client, she freelanced and proposed a business called Relax-a-Taxi where her customers got a massage during their taxi ride.

When Phoebe was 14 years old, her step-mother committed suicide. At the time, Phoebe thought her step-mother was her real mother but later found out that her birth mother was still alive and living in Montauk. Her father Frank Buffay deserted the family before Phoebe was born.

After her step-mother's suicide, Phoebe moved to New York City where she lived with an Albino guy who washed car windows outside the Port Authority. When he killed himself, she lived in a box, using the Chelsea Reporter to keep her warm. At 18 she was living in a car with a guy who talked to his hand. Phoebe is borderline psychic (but her memory sucks) and she likes to cleanse people’s auras’. Despite all the adversity in her life, Phoebe still displays a pleasant upbeat personality. But don't let her sweet, ditzy air-head persona fool you. When confronted, Phoebe can quickly retrieve her street-smart darker side to resolve a problem.

Phoebe’s favorite hangout is the Central Perk, a local coffee bar where she plays guitar and sings very unique lyrics like "Smelly cat, Smelly cat, What are they feeding you?" [it became a hit record]. Terry, the Perks’ owner once critiqued Phoebe’s singing by saying "It’s not that your friend sings bad...it’s that she sings so bad that she makes me want to gouge my ears out and reach in and swirl my fingers inside my brain." Another bad thing about Phoebe is her running style. It looks like a cross between Kermit the Frog and the Six Million Dollar Man.

Phoebe’s twin sister Ursula [middle name: Pamela] works at a nearby cafe called Riff’s Bar [frequented by Paul and Jamie Buchman from Mad About You]. Phoebe is a vegetarian ["no food with a face"]; Ursula eats meat. Phoebe later learned she had a half-brother named Frank and agreed to be a surrogate mother for him and his new wife, Alice. Phoebe gave birth to triplets [Frank Jr. Jr., Leslie, and Chandler] and had to give all the kids to his brother despite her request for "just one." The babies were born while a TV set in the delivery room broadcast a Happy Days episode entitled "Fonzie Plays the Bongos." During her pregnancy, Phoebe’s intense craving for meat forced her to discontinue her vegetarian diet until the kids were born.

Phoebe once married a gay Canadian figure skater named Duncan so he could get his green card. She really loved him and later got really pissed when he announced he wasn’t gay and wanted a divorce to marry another woman. Phoebe also dated Vince, a fireman; Jason a kindergarten teacher; David, a scientist guy who moved to Minsk, Russia; a seemingly nice policeman who one day shot a songbird through the bedroom window to shut it up, and a guy named Mike Hannigan whose parents didn't approve of Phoebe.

The three things that you should know about Phoebe: Her friends are the most important thing; she never lies; and she makes the best oatmeal-raisin cookies in the world. Phoebe used to believe her grandmother’s secret recipe for chocolate-chip cookies was tremendous and she wanted to give the recipe to her friend Monica Geller as a wedding gift. Unfortunately, the recipe burned in an apartment fire. To recreate the ingredients, Phoebe and Monica experimented with various taste combinations only to discover that Granny’s recipe turned out to be the same as Nestle’s Tollhouse cookies. As a keepsake, Phoebe keeps her grandmother’s ashes in a wooden box under the front seat of her car (a taxi). Phoebe divined her death date to be October 15, 2032.

Finally, in 2003, Phoebe finds the man of her dream, namely ex-boyfriend Mike Hannigan (the one who accidentally killed Phoebe's pet rats). Phoebe's other ex-flame David ironically complicates matters when he arrives on the scene to propose to Phoebe. Unfortunately, Mike beats him to the punch. When David asked Phoebe if he had proposed first would she have said yes? Phoebe told David yes, she would have accepted his proposal, but it would have been wrong. Phoebe and Mike marry soon after.

Phoebe Buffay Songs

2007-07-29T11:00:00.000-07:00

Song Title	Lyrics	Heard In Episodes
A Few Of My Favorite Things	Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens Bluebells and sleighbells and something with mittens la la la la la la something with string....	1.1 TOW Monica Gets A New Roommate
Love	Love is sweet as summer showers, Love is a wondrous work of art, But your love oh your love, your love... Is like a giant pigeon...crapping on my heart. La-la-la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to that guy she says) Thank you. La-la-la-la...ohhh!	1.1 TOW Monica Gets A New Roommate
Blackout	New York City has no power And the milk is getting sour But to me that is not scary Cause I stay away from dairy La-la-la-la-la-la...	1.7 TOW The Blackout
Cremated Mother	My mother's ashes, even her eyelashes Are resting in a little yellow jar And sometimes when it's breezy Or when I'm feeling sneezy And now I...	1.10 TOW The Monkey
Snowman	I made a man with eyes of coal and a smile so bewitchin' How was I supposed to know that my mom was dead in the kitchen La-la-la-la-la-la-la...	1.10 TOW The Monkey
My Coma Guy	You don't have to be awake to be my man As long as you have brain waves I'll be there to hold your hand. Though we just met the other day There's something I have go to say...	1.11 TOW Mrs. Bing
Babies	They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why And you cry and you cry and you cry And you cry and you cry...	1.23 TOW The Birth
They Found Their Bodies	And they found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next day, la la la, la la la, la la la...	1.23 TOW The Birth
Double-Jointed Boy	He was a double, double, double-jointed boy	2.6 TOW The Baby On The Bus
When I Play	When I play, I play for me I don't need your charity La lalala lalalalalalala lalala lalala lalalalalalala....	2.6 TOW The Baby On The Bus
In the Shower	I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song Stop me if you've heard it. My skin is soapy, and my hair is wet, and Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget. Lather, rinse, repeat and lather, rinse, repeat and lather, rinse, repeat as needed.	2.6 TOW The Baby On The Bus
Smelly Cat (Original Version)	Chorus Smelly cat, smelly cat What are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat It's not your fault They won't take you to the vet You're obviously not their favorite pet You may not be a bed of roses And you're no friend to those with noses Repeat Chorus	Many Episodes
Stephanie	Stephanie knows all the chords!	2.6 TOW The Baby On The Bus
Terry's a Jerk	Terry's a jerk! And he won't let me work! And I hate Central Perk! (time passes by) And you're all invited to bite me!	2.6 TOW With The Baby On The Bus
Two of Them Kissed Last Night	There was a girl we'll call her Betty And a guy let's call him Neil Now I can't stress this point too strongly This story isn't real. (time passes by) Now our Neil must decide Who will be the girl that he casts aside? Will Betty be the one who he loves truly Or will it be the one who we'll call L-L-Lulie? He must decide, he must decide Even though I made him up he must decide	2.8 TOW The List
Barnyard Animals	Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo" Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo" Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up And that's how we get hamburgers. Noooowwwww chickens!	2.12 TO After The Superbowl
Don't	There'll be times when you get older And you'll want to sleep with people Just to make them like you But DON'T Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do That's another thing that you don't wanna do	2.12 TO After The Superbowl
Bi-sexuals	Sometimes men love women And sometimes men love men Then there are bi-sexuals Though some just say they're kidding themselves La-la-la-la-la-la...	2.12 TO After The Superbowl
Grandma	Now grandma's a person who everyone likes She brought you a train and a bright shiny bike But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, But the truth is she died and someday you will too La-la-la-la-la...	2.12 TOW After The Superbowl
Smelly Cat (With All The Gang)	Chorus Smelly cat, smelly cat What are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat It's not your fault They won't take you to the vet You're obviously not their favorite pet You may not be a bed of roses And you're no friend to those with noses Repeat Chorus	2.17 TOW Eddie Moves In
Crusty Old Man	...And the crusty old man said "I'll do what I can" And the rest of the rats played maracas	2.18 TOW Dr. Remore Dies
Endless Love (Duet with Chandler)	(Chandler) I’ll hold you close in my aaarms. I can’t resist your charm. And loooove.... (Phoebe joins in) Looooove... I’ll be a foool for youuuu. I’m sure, you know I don’t mind. (Chandler) No you know I don’t mind. (Chandler & Phoebe) And yes! You mean the world the world to meeee. Oooh... (Chandler) I know. (Phoebe) I know. (Chandler) I’ve found. (Phoebe) I've found... (Chandler & Phoebe) in youuuu, my endless looov... My endless looove.... looove.... love.... (Chandler) looove (Phoebe) love (Chandler) looove....	3.8 TOW The Giant Poking Device
Jingle B*tch	Jingle b*tch screwed me over Go to hell jingle whore Go to hell, go to hell, go to h-h-hell	3.14 TOW Phoebe’s Ex-Partner
Sticky Shoes	My favorite shoes so good to me I wear them everyday Down at the heel, holes in the toe Don't care what people say My feet's best friend, pals to the end With them I'm one hot chicky Though late one night Not much light I stepped in something icky Chorus Sticky shoes, sticky shoes Always makes me smile Sticky shoes, sticky shoes Next time I'll avoid the pile	3.14 TOW Phoebe’s Ex-Partner
Crazy Underwear	Crazy underwear creeping up my butt Crazy underwear always in a rut Crazy underwear...	3.23 TOW Ross' Thing
The 66 Colors of my Bedroom	...fuschia and mauve Those are the 66 colors of my bedroom	4.1 TOW The Jellyfish
Dumb Drunken B*tch	...dumb drunken b*tch!!	4.2 TOW The Cat
Parading Goats	Parading goats are parading, Parading down the street. Parading goats are parading, Leaving little treats.	4.5 TOW Joey's New Girlfriend
Paper Machй	(three snaps) I, I'm still waiting for my paper maché man	4.5 TOW Joey's New Girlfriend
My Sticky Shoe	My sticky shoe My sticky, sticky shoe Why you stick on me, baaay-bay?	4.5 TOW With Joey's New Girlfriend
Tony Tarzan	Little Tony Tarzan Swinging on an nose hair Swinging with the greatest of ease...	4.7 TOW Chandler Crosses The Line
Holiday Song	Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap Said all you need is to write them a song Now you haven't heard it yet so don't try to sing along No don't sing along Monica, Monica, have a happy Hanukkah Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowwwwwy And Rachel and Chandler, (mumbles something) handler!	4.10 TOW The Girl From Poughkeepsie
Little Fetus	Are you in there little fetus? In nine months will you come greet us? I will buy you some Adidas	4.12 TOW The Embryos
Little Black Curly Hair	I found you in my bed... How'd you wind up there? You are a mystery Little black curly hair Little black curly hair Little black, little black, Little black, little black, Little black curly hair	6.3 TOW Ross' Denial
Two Heart Attacks	It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see one of them won't do it but the second will set you free Tell all your hate and anger it's time to say good bye and that is just what I will do as soon as those bastards I work for die Lalalalalalalalalala...	6.116 TOW Could've Been Pt. 2
First Time I Met Chandler	First time I met Chandler I thought he was gay but here I am singing on his wedding daaaay	7.1 TOW Monica's Thunder
Whenever I Get Married	Whenever I get married Guess who I won't ask to sing! Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!!!	7.1 TOW Monica's Thunder
Who's Gonna Perform the Ceremony	Who's gonna perform the ceremony? Who's gonna perform the ceremony?	7.1 TOW Monica's Thunder
Thought Phoebe Would Leave	We thought Phoebe would leave But she just stayed and stayed That's right, here all night And Chandler will never get L...	7.1 TOW Monica's Thunder
Argentina Song	And there’s a country called Argentina It’s a place I’ve never seen But I'm told for fifty pesos You can buy a human spleeeeen Human spleen! Olé!	9.19 TOW Rachel's Dream
The Woman Smelled Like Garbage	It wasn’t just that she was fat, The woman smelled like garbage! Everyone! It wasn’t just that she was fat, The woman smelled like gaaaarbage! Classy huh?	9.19 TOW Rachel's Dream
The Food Here At Javu	The food here at Javu...will kill you! The food here at Javu...will kill you!	9.19 TOW Rachel's Dream