Phoebe Buffay Songs

Song Title Lyrics Heard In Episodes
A Few Of My Favorite Things Raindrops on roses
and rabbits and kittens
Bluebells and sleighbells
and something with mittens
la la la la la la something with string....
1.1
TOW Monica Gets A New Roommate
Love Love is sweet as summer showers,
Love is a wondrous work of art,
But your love oh your love, your love...
Is like a giant pigeon...crapping on my heart.
La-la-la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to that guy she says) Thank you.
La-la-la-la...ohhh!

1.1
TOW Monica Gets A New Roommate
Blackout New York City has no power
And the milk is getting sour
But to me that is not scary
Cause I stay away from dairy
La-la-la-la-la-la...

1.7
TOW The Blackout
Cremated Mother My mother's ashes,
even her eyelashes
Are resting in a little yellow jar
And sometimes when it's breezy
Or when I'm feeling sneezy
And now I...

1.10
TOW The Monkey
Snowman I made a man with eyes of coal and a smile so bewitchin'
How was I supposed to know that my mom was dead in the kitchen
La-la-la-la-la-la-la...

1.10
TOW The Monkey
My Coma Guy You don't have to be awake to be my man
As long as you have brain waves I'll be there to hold your hand.
Though we just met the other day
There's something I have go to say...
1.11
TOW Mrs. Bing
Babies They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch
Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why
And you cry and you cry and you cry
And you cry and you cry...

1.23
TOW The Birth
They Found Their Bodies And they found their bodies the very next day,
they found their bodies the very next day,
la la la, la la la, la la la...
1.23
TOW The Birth
Double-Jointed Boy He was a double, double, double-jointed boy
2.6
TOW The Baby On The Bus
When I Play When I play, I play for me
I don't need your charity
La lalala lalalalalalala
lalala lalala lalalalalalala....
2.6
TOW The Baby On The Bus
In the Shower I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song
Stop me if you've heard it.
My skin is soapy, and my hair is wet,
and Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget.
Lather, rinse, repeat
and lather, rinse, repeat
and lather, rinse, repeat
as needed.
2.6
TOW The Baby On The Bus
Smelly Cat (Original Version) *Chorus*
Smelly cat, smelly cat
What are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat
It's not your fault

They won't take you to the vet
You're obviously not their favorite pet
You may not be a bed of roses
And you're no friend to those with noses

*Repeat Chorus*

Many Episodes
Stephanie Stephanie knows all the chords!
2.6
TOW The Baby On The Bus
Terry's a Jerk Terry's a jerk!
And he won't let me work!
And I hate Central Perk!

(time passes by)

And you're all invited to bite me!

2.6
TOW With The Baby On The Bus
Two of Them Kissed Last Night There was a girl we'll call her Betty
And a guy let's call him Neil
Now I can't stress this point too strongly
This story isn't real.

(time passes by)

Now our Neil must decide
Who will be the girl that he casts aside?
Will Betty be the one who he loves truly
Or will it be the one who we'll call L-L-Lulie?
He must decide, he must decide
Even though I made him up he must decide

2.8
TOW The List
Barnyard Animals Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up
And that's how we get hamburgers.
Noooowwwww chickens!

2.12
TO After The Superbowl
Don't There'll be times when you get older
And you'll want to sleep with people
Just to make them like you
But DON'T
Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do
That's another thing that you don't wanna do

2.12
TO After The Superbowl
Bi-sexuals Sometimes men love women
And sometimes men love men
Then there are bi-sexuals
Though some just say they're kidding themselves
La-la-la-la-la-la...

2.12
TO After The Superbowl
Grandma Now grandma's a person who everyone likes
She brought you a train and a bright shiny bike
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner
And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner.
Now your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru,
But the truth is she died and someday you will too
La-la-la-la-la...

2.12
TOW After The Superbowl
Smelly Cat (With All The Gang) *Chorus*
Smelly cat, smelly cat
What are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat
It's not your fault

They won't take you to the vet
You're obviously not their favorite pet
You may not be a bed of roses
And you're no friend to those with noses

*Repeat Chorus*

2.17
TOW Eddie Moves In
Crusty Old Man ...And the crusty old man said "I'll do what I can"
And the rest of the rats played maracas

2.18
TOW Dr. Remore Dies
Endless Love (Duet with Chandler) (Chandler) I’ll hold you close in my aaarms.
I can’t resist your charm. And loooove....
(Phoebe joins in) Looooove...
I’ll be a foool for youuuu. I’m sure, you know I don’t mind.
(Chandler) No you know I don’t mind.
(Chandler & Phoebe) And yes! You mean the world the world to meeee. Oooh...
(Chandler) I know.
(Phoebe) I know.
(Chandler) I’ve found.
(Phoebe) I've found...
(Chandler & Phoebe) in youuuu, my endless looov...
My endless looove....
looove....
love....
(Chandler) looove
(Phoebe) love
(Chandler) looove....

3.8
TOW The Giant Poking Device
Jingle B*tch Jingle b*tch screwed me over
Go to hell jingle whore
Go to hell, go to hell, go to h-h-hell

3.14
TOW Phoebe’s Ex-Partner
Sticky Shoes My favorite shoes so good to me
I wear them everyday
Down at the heel, holes in the toe
Don't care what people say
My feet's best friend, pals to the end
With them I'm one hot chicky
Though late one night
Not much light
I stepped in something icky

*Chorus* Sticky shoes, sticky shoes
Always makes me smile
Sticky shoes, sticky shoes
Next time I'll avoid the pile

3.14
TOW Phoebe’s Ex-Partner
Crazy Underwear Crazy underwear creeping up my butt
Crazy underwear always in a rut
Crazy underwear...

3.23
TOW Ross' Thing
The 66 Colors of my Bedroom ...fuschia and mauve
Those are the 66 colors of my bedroom
4.1
TOW The Jellyfish
Dumb Drunken B*tch ...dumb drunken b*tch!!
4.2
TOW The Cat
Parading Goats Parading goats are parading,
Parading down the street.
Parading goats are parading,
Leaving little treats.
4.5
TOW Joey's New Girlfriend
Paper Machй (three snaps)
I, I'm still waiting for my paper maché man
4.5
TOW Joey's New Girlfriend
My Sticky Shoe My sticky shoe
My sticky, sticky shoe
Why you stick on me, baaay-bay?
4.5
TOW With Joey's New Girlfriend
Tony Tarzan Little Tony Tarzan
Swinging on an nose hair
Swinging with the greatest of ease...
4.7
TOW Chandler Crosses The Line
Holiday Song Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap
Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap
Said all you need is to write them a song
Now you haven't heard it yet so don't try to sing along
No don't sing along
Monica, Monica, have a happy Hanukkah
Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross
And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowwwwwy
And Rachel and Chandler, (mumbles something) handler!
4.10
TOW The Girl From Poughkeepsie
Little Fetus Are you in there little fetus?
In nine months will you come greet us?
I will buy you some Adidas
4.12
TOW The Embryos
Little Black Curly Hair I found you in my bed...
How'd you wind up there?
You are a mystery
Little black curly hair
Little black curly hair
Little black, little black,
Little black, little black,
Little black curly hair
6.3
TOW Ross' Denial
Two Heart Attacks It only takes two heart attacks
to finally make you see
one of them won't do it
but the second will set you free
Tell all your hate and anger
it's time to say good bye
and that is just what I will do
as soon as those bastards I work for die
Lalalalalalalalalala...
6.116
TOW Could've Been Pt. 2
First Time I Met Chandler First time I met Chandler
I thought he was gay
but here I am singing
on his wedding daaaay
7.1
TOW Monica's Thunder
Whenever I Get Married Whenever I get married
Guess who I won't ask to sing!
Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!!!
7.1
TOW Monica's Thunder
Who's Gonna Perform the Ceremony Who's gonna perform the ceremony?
Who's gonna perform the ceremony?
7.1
TOW Monica's Thunder
Thought Phoebe Would Leave We thought Phoebe would leave
But she just stayed and stayed
That's right, here all night
And Chandler will never get L...
7.1
TOW Monica's Thunder
Argentina Song And there’s a country called Argentina
It’s a place I’ve never seen
But I'm told for fifty pesos
You can buy a human spleeeeen
Human spleen!
Olé!
9.19
TOW Rachel's Dream
The Woman Smelled Like Garbage It wasn’t just that she was fat,
The woman smelled like garbage!
Everyone!
It wasn’t just that she was fat,
The woman smelled like gaaaarbage!
Classy huh?
9.19
TOW Rachel's Dream
The Food Here At Javu The food here at Javu...will kill you!
The food here at Javu...will kill you!
9.19
TOW Rachel's Dream

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